The best way is to get one of those special cards and drives. Some details on the various types available throughout history are here: http://www.vintagemacworld.com/drives.html
You are looking for a Liron or Superdrive controller for your IIe. Good luck - they're expensive when they show up for sale.
But a 3.5" disk on a IIe is a pretty foreign concept. Essentially no software came on that medium except for the IIgs (and for the short-lived Apple IIc+).
There is a modern piece of hardware that makes 3.5" media behave as if they are 5.25" Disk II drives - essentially emulating the older hardware with newer media: http://www.bootzero.com/HDDD_A2_v1.2/HDDD_A2v1.2.html
Look for the drive controller that has a 28 pin chip on it, marked 341-0041... it's the IWM chip (Integrated Wozniak Machine) and will control the 800k drive.