You guys are out of my league, but I do have a few observations. I started computing on an Apple II and my first computer was a PCs Limited 286 AT clone.
I am a big strong guy with big hands, so I want and need a keyboard that has tall sturdy keys, well separated, with concave tops. I too love the old keyboards like the one that came with my first computer, but I feel compelled to accept the modern "enhanced" style layout just so I can get along in the real world. I would love to switch to Linux (Ubuntu, I am at least halfway there already) so losing the "Windows" key is not a deal-killer, but I am too old to adapt easily to multiple simultaneous keyboards. The laptop is horrid of course, but it can't really be helped, although I do plug in a real keyboard and mouse at every opportunity.
IBM post-M models, such as the KB-8923 that I am typing this on, are reasonable, cheap, available substitutes. They are plenty sturdy if not completely bullet-proof, have good solid feel, if slightly heavier because of the rubber layer, and are much easier on other people's ears. And they are heavy enough to not slide around on the desk, even if they are not weapons-grade. The later, lesser KB-7953 is not too bad, and even its final KB-9910 version is still far better than the crap that you buy now.
Since I am lucky enough to have access to yard sales and thrift stores, none of this stuff costs me very much, and when I find something I like, I stockpile backups.
But now I am going to commit the real blasphemy - and admit that I have an "internet" keyboard that I REALLY like. That's right, it has buttons on the top for odd things like email and music. Here it is: the Compaq SK-2800.
This beige & gray monstrosity came with Presarios circa 2000-03. The primary keyboard has a look and feel much like this IBM 8923, and the buttons across the top are rubbery horizontal ovals. I will admit, I am a sucker for rubber buttons. When I find a calculator with rubber buttons instead of slick hard ones, I am in heaven.
These buttons are ones I actually use: a set of music buttons Play/Pause, skip Forward/Back, volume Up/Down, and, most important, Mute. The 7 "internet" buttons are programmable, with Browser in the center and email at one end. I have the others set for Windows Explorer, Word, Excel, Photoshop, and Wikipedia. After getting used to one quick stab with the finger opening my major applications, it seems dreadfully awkward and slow to have to resort to multiple mouse movements and clicks to accomplish the same thing. Dreadfully slow, and clumsy.
There are a couple of weird buttons that must be something like "sleep" but I have never tried to use them. My computer is on if I am using it, and off if I am not.
This keyboard does require a driver, it takes a small amount of looking online to find it, but no problem in XP. I worry that it will not work in 7. In Linux it is listed as "supported", but I have not yet tried to make it so.
I hate gimmicks, and owned the keyboard for quite a while before programming the buttons, but "internet" and "email" originally worked by default, and they made it soooo fast and easy that I realized that it would be good to have more convenience for opening the programs I use every day.
I am not a gamer, or anything like that, but even you crusty old grizzly bears might find something to really like in the Compaq 2800.