Throw away those bulky tubes! Thanks to the amazing new Crystal Diode, you're living in the Fuuuuuuutuuuure!
From "Electronic Shortcuts for Hobbyists, 24 Simplified Crystal Diode Applications " by Sylvania Electric Products, inc., 1951. Price 35 cents. It's got a fair few breathless things to say about the amazing crystal diode. The fact that they're true makes it even more fun, but it's still pretty funny.
I like how most older documentation "talks to you" casually, because whoever wrote it knew that the only people who would read it would be technical ones. Not every manual from back then was like that, but those that were made for an amusing and down-to-earth read.