I can't find the 487sx pinout anywhere (don't think Intel ever published it, but I may be wrong). The extra pin inward of a corner may be it, or not; chances are it probably is.
Again working with probabilities, chances are it needs to be pulled low through a resistor. You could insert a wire in it, install the CPU on top, turn the computer on then with a high impedance multimeter measure the voltage on that pin. If it's +5V, you could try to pull it to ground by a 5-10K resistor and see what happens. Worst that could happen is you fry the motherboard and CPU though, so take all I said with a grain of salt.
(edit) I actually managed to find a datasheet which shows both the 486sx and 487sx pinouts at
http://www.datasheetarchive.com/dl/Datasheets-112/DSAP0042446.pdf
It turns out that the "extra" out-of-alignment pin is not electrically connected and is just used as a key for correct orientation. The pin that disables the 486sx is called MP# on the 487, and is located at B14. It needs to be driven low (ground) to disable the 486sx. It is not connected on the 486sx. However, on the 486DX that pin is called UP#, and when pulled low it will disable the CPU. This way you can only use a 487sx to upgrade a 486sx system, not a 486dx (because it will get disabled itself)
So in conclusion I would try this: pull low pin B14 on the socket, but electrically insulate the same pin on the 486dx CPU so it doesn't get disabled itself... One way to do this would be to cut the B14 pin on the CPU if you dare. Standard disclaimer applies, do it at your own risk.
(later edit) Here's a patent that has some more information in it.
http://www.patents.com/us-5473766.html (wish I could upload it as attachment... it's only a 600k PDF, but the forum limits PDFs to 48k which is not useful)