But if I don't have the XT-IDE card yet I do have an old 16-bit ISA IDE controller lying around, can I get the same effect through software?
Yes, ATA-2 8-bit on 16-bit controller in 8-bit slot is a supported mode Not all controllers work but there is a post on here somewhere detailing why and how to make them work (covering a pad, I forget which). Many controllers will work.
The key however is that only 8-bit transfer mode supporting devices can be used, i.e. ATA2 HDDs, Microdrivers, CompactFlash cards.
HTH