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Everything you never wanted to know about me.


Apr 20, 2010
I generally don't tell people much about me, no one would believe it anyway. I have a hard time believing it myself. Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense. That being said, laughter is the one thing that's pulled me through, and I tend to rip on everyone, especially myself. If I mess with you, don't take it the wrong way, it will be because I like you. I know I've made a horrible first impression here by snapping out on some of my sociopathic in-laws, but every emotion, if genuine, is involuntary. If you've never lost it over something, then I pity you for being a heartless, soulless, automaton. Although emotion may not excuse bad behavior, it does at least make it understandable.

Now, my first serious experience with electricity, came when my stepbrother tossed me his belt and hooks and dared me to climb the pole in his backyard (while getting good and drunk, of course). After I did, he asked me if I wanted a job, which I accepted. Two days later I found myself changing the insulator on a hot pole (I'd go where the bucket truck couldn't get to). It was a weird feeling, holding enough juice in your hands to cook you like a hot dog. But not scary, as your brain knows your ok as long as your not grounded. What was scary, however, was a moron that was working the bucket. He snagged the guy wire one day with the bucket and pushed it into a hot transformer, resulting in an impressive fireball, burning the guy wire almost completely off. Looking at where the guy wire was anchored, just several feet away from me, I realized I wasn't making enough money for this kind of crap. I went and got a job running cable, the pay was better, and I only had to run halfway up the pole. That was the end of my power lineman days, an interesting six months. I wish now that I had paid more attention to what the foreman was saying about the wiring itself, I only knew enough to do my job, and that was more about setting and dressing the new poles than understanding how wiring itself worked. I was young and dumb at the time and missed a good opportunity to learn some very useful skills. I did learn one very important thing however, never lose both the ground from the pole and ground from your meter stake(i.e. all ground). Your house wiring will soon begin to resemble a toaster element. At least that's what the foreman told that same moron on the bucket truck, after he forgot to reconnect the pole ground, once. I'd bet that moron is probably a statistic, now. Hopefully, he only took himself out.

So now fast forward to about six months ago, when my furnace quit working. After troubleshooting everything else, I bought my first voltmeter and muddled my way through troubleshooting the control board (with some help). As it turned out the ignition circuit had lost continuity and rather than attempt a sketchy repair on a crusty board, with my woeful soldering skills, I forked out 134 bucks for new one. And that was cheap, compared to the other places I called. Getting cold will definitely inspire you to learn something new. Quick. There's the extent of my electrical knowledge. Very little.

As far as computers go, although they have always fascinated me, I somehow veered off the digital path and spent most of my time bar hopping, chasing tail, and various other "unsavory" activities. Some might ask if I had to do it over again, would I? Absolutely. Why? I had a freakin blast, that's why. But after a while it got boring and I slowly gave up most all of it without even realizing it, settling into a stable relationship (13 yrs now), with a good old lady and her down's kid. He's not as bad as some I've seen, but he still needs supervision at 19, lest he burn the shanty down doing something really asinine. I treat him like I would my own, if I had any (that I know of). He just graduated last weekend, now I gotta figure out what to do with him (and myself, for that matter). So now I find myself with a lot of free time coming up, and the desire to pick up where I left off so many years ago, wanting to learn a bit more than swapping cards, and playing games.