Terry Yager
Veteran Member
Take it any way ya like...profound wisdom from the keyz of your favorite Village Idiot Philosopher Savant or Musings of a Madman, this seems neutral enough for this venue.
When shown half-a-glass of water, the optimist sez the glass is half full
pessimist sez the glass is half empty
pragmatist " the glass is the wrong size, use a smaller one
existentialist " leave the glass alone, it can be whatever it wants to be
fatalist " it doesn't matter, we're all just gonna die anyway
sentimentalist " aaaaawww, I had a glass just like it long ago...I loved that glass...it was the best glass...I think I'm gonna cry...
creationist " the glass would be perfect if divine intelligence had designed it
evolutionist " don't worry, it will soon become something else
physicist " in a quantum universe, it can be both at once...and neither...
narcicist " oh kewl, I can see my reflection in the glass
abstract expressionist " I can see the glass any way I want to
zen buddahist " the water is the mind of ghawd and the glass but the vessel
impressionist " I feel what the water is feeling...the warm embrace of the glass...the cool air blowing across my surface...
realist " how can I know if the glass of water is actually there?
surrealist " the glass is illusion, the water is illusion, everything is illusion...
romanticist " it's beautiful that the glass and the water have found each other, they're such a perfect match
publicist " I can make that glass a star, but the water's a loser so we'll have to dump it
sexist " don't worry about it my ol' lady to clean those dirty dishes
racist " it's wrong to co-mingle the glass with the water, they're of different kinds
mentalist " just think of the answer and I'll read it from your mind
capitalist " how much am I being paid for this?
industrialist " I can manufacture that glass for half the price
cubist " that glass is too smooth and round, I can't deal with it
illusionist " wanna see me pull a rabbit out of the glass?
anarchist " the glass has no right to impose order on the water so it must be destroyed
climatologist " if global warming continues there'll be no water left anywhere
centrist " the glass is perfect just the way it is, split down the middle
absurdist " if the glass wasn't there, would the water still be?
collaborationist " I'll go along with whatever you say it is
apologist " it's not the water's fault it can't fill the whole glass
modernist " who cares about a glass, everyone drinks bottled water these days
prohibitionist " I don't care, as long as it's just water
assimilationist " the water should be happy that it
has been given a new home and conform to the glass, not try to force it's culture upon it
conformist " I agree with the generally accepted wisdom on the subject
ethicist " who am I to judge someone else's glass of water
psychoanalyist " is that why you hate your mother, for not giving you a full glass?
psychiatrist " have you always been so confrontational, or is this a recent development?
collectivist " the glass and the water are in this thing together, that's all that matters
classist " the glass and the water each have to stick to thier place in society
counterculturist " the glass and the water should both just drop out and be themselves, not what society wants them to be
terrorist " do you know how big a bomb I could make if it were nitroglycerin instead of water?
televangelist " for a donation to ghawd of $1000.00, you will receive this glass of holy water (just make the check out to me, and I'll see that he gets it)
alchemist " it's elemental my dear, elemental..
exorcist " I can drive the devil out of that glass of water (for a nominal fee of course)
satanist " in my master's house there is no water
fetishist " ooooohh, I just LOVE water...
exhibitionist " if you think that's something, just take a look at THIS...
futurologist " I predict that soon glasses will become obsolete, but water will always be popular
generalist " all water is the same but glasses are always different
transcendentalist " Let me meditate on it, I'll get back to you....
journalist " I'm in the business of reporting facts. If you want an opinion, ask an editorialist
photojournalist " I don't have to say anything, my pictures tell the whole story
socialist " everyone should have equal amounts in thier glasses
communist " the water will soon rise up and throw off the bondage of the glass that is oppressing it
trade unionist " if we all stick together we can force them to fill the glass completely
When shown half-a-glass of water, the optimist sez the glass is half full
pessimist sez the glass is half empty
pragmatist " the glass is the wrong size, use a smaller one
existentialist " leave the glass alone, it can be whatever it wants to be
fatalist " it doesn't matter, we're all just gonna die anyway
sentimentalist " aaaaawww, I had a glass just like it long ago...I loved that glass...it was the best glass...I think I'm gonna cry...
creationist " the glass would be perfect if divine intelligence had designed it
evolutionist " don't worry, it will soon become something else
physicist " in a quantum universe, it can be both at once...and neither...
narcicist " oh kewl, I can see my reflection in the glass
abstract expressionist " I can see the glass any way I want to
zen buddahist " the water is the mind of ghawd and the glass but the vessel
impressionist " I feel what the water is feeling...the warm embrace of the glass...the cool air blowing across my surface...
realist " how can I know if the glass of water is actually there?
surrealist " the glass is illusion, the water is illusion, everything is illusion...
romanticist " it's beautiful that the glass and the water have found each other, they're such a perfect match
publicist " I can make that glass a star, but the water's a loser so we'll have to dump it
sexist " don't worry about it my ol' lady to clean those dirty dishes
racist " it's wrong to co-mingle the glass with the water, they're of different kinds
mentalist " just think of the answer and I'll read it from your mind
capitalist " how much am I being paid for this?
industrialist " I can manufacture that glass for half the price
cubist " that glass is too smooth and round, I can't deal with it
illusionist " wanna see me pull a rabbit out of the glass?
anarchist " the glass has no right to impose order on the water so it must be destroyed
climatologist " if global warming continues there'll be no water left anywhere
centrist " the glass is perfect just the way it is, split down the middle
absurdist " if the glass wasn't there, would the water still be?
collaborationist " I'll go along with whatever you say it is
apologist " it's not the water's fault it can't fill the whole glass
modernist " who cares about a glass, everyone drinks bottled water these days
prohibitionist " I don't care, as long as it's just water
assimilationist " the water should be happy that it
has been given a new home and conform to the glass, not try to force it's culture upon it
conformist " I agree with the generally accepted wisdom on the subject
ethicist " who am I to judge someone else's glass of water
psychoanalyist " is that why you hate your mother, for not giving you a full glass?
psychiatrist " have you always been so confrontational, or is this a recent development?
collectivist " the glass and the water are in this thing together, that's all that matters
classist " the glass and the water each have to stick to thier place in society
counterculturist " the glass and the water should both just drop out and be themselves, not what society wants them to be
terrorist " do you know how big a bomb I could make if it were nitroglycerin instead of water?
televangelist " for a donation to ghawd of $1000.00, you will receive this glass of holy water (just make the check out to me, and I'll see that he gets it)
alchemist " it's elemental my dear, elemental..
exorcist " I can drive the devil out of that glass of water (for a nominal fee of course)
satanist " in my master's house there is no water
fetishist " ooooohh, I just LOVE water...
exhibitionist " if you think that's something, just take a look at THIS...
futurologist " I predict that soon glasses will become obsolete, but water will always be popular
generalist " all water is the same but glasses are always different
transcendentalist " Let me meditate on it, I'll get back to you....
journalist " I'm in the business of reporting facts. If you want an opinion, ask an editorialist
photojournalist " I don't have to say anything, my pictures tell the whole story
socialist " everyone should have equal amounts in thier glasses
communist " the water will soon rise up and throw off the bondage of the glass that is oppressing it
trade unionist " if we all stick together we can force them to fill the glass completely