Unfortunately, most of the folks in this trailer park can't even spell DSL, much less know how to get a router configured properly. Thank ghawd Sheila has a pretty nice setup, but I even lose her signal whenever some idjit parks their car between our places. How rude of them to want to use their own driveways!
Actually, probably more practical and I would bet able to get past your dilemma would be a quick homebrew yagi setup. Directional antenna, on the bright side, if it doesn't work you still get to eat a can of pringles while you work. Dirty Bastard Ale, eh? I've had Arrogant Bastard ale but hadn't heard of that one.
Not a bad product, but as far as American IPAs go, I prefer 90-Minute IPA, from Dogfish Head Brewery, in Delaware (creators of "Liqueur d'Malt," also an excellent brew), but the closest place I can find it around here is down near Detroit (gotta go all the way to Indiana for the Arrogant, but still, I am worthy! (I do wonder sometimes though if I wouldn't be better off just drinking the gasoline directly instead)). DBA is still kinda local to MI, (Founder's Brewery, in Grand Rapids). It's a Scots, not as potent as some at 8.5 abv, nor terribly hoppy either (50 ibu), but nectar of the gods couldn't go down any smoother, and I can git it at Liquor King, right up on the corner, so my first choice these days, although I do still occasionally make the 14-mile round trip to Frankenmouth for a growler of Dave's Imperial Stout, but a lot less frequently now that I no longer drive (long story, but not involving a DUI this time).
Forgotten?! Pfft.. you know we covet all our vintage things, even posters ;-) I'll have to keep an eye out for those assuming they're being "exported/imported" (never figured why these terms get used interstate).